Can we Categorise Adversities or Resilience?

Whenever we think of adversities we tend to think of the big and dramatic happenings, 9/11, Katrina, the war in Palestine, the first days of the economic crisis springs to mind.  What about the ongoing adversities such as the effects of the economic crisis, the re-building of Palestine or the slow meltdown of Zimbabwe and the re-building of that country?  These are different sets of adversities that may not be as dramatic or as obvious, but need as much resilience to deal with. So is there an Adversity Measurement Scale as there is a Disaster Scale or a Richter Scale?

We cannot use the word resilience without also thinking of adversity.  The two are basically interdependent.  We are also inclined to evaluate the level of resilience according to the size of the disaster. Although the size of the disaster cannot be ignored, the significance of the adversity for us is just as important a factor to consider. The significance to us depends on a number of things, our beliefs, attitudes, past experiences, present circumstances  – the list is long.  Adversities are as different as people are and people cope better with some adversities than with others. For instance some adversities are short and brutal, others are chronic or last much longer and they eat away slowly at your resilience. Different people cope in different ways and with different levels of success with different types of adversities.

Sometimes we judge ourselves and others negatively because: ”We should have coped better!”, or “Why do they make such a fuss, it’s not such a big deal!” .  When we measure the level of resilience we have or someone else has we must be gentle.  It may be better to try and understand the effect the adversity has or had on the person and how he/she coped with it rather than to say the adversity was big or small or the person coped well or poorly.  It is not only the size and impact of the adversity that counts, it is also factors such as the significance for us that counts. Many years ago my mother-in-law was involved in a minor motorcar accident months after my father-in-law passed away, she was most upset and we were surprised because she was a strong woman. Then we realized that she was afraid of losing the car – it was one thing that still connected her to him, after he died she moved from their house and there seemed to her to be less and les things that they “did together”, but the car was still a link.

Adversities then have the nasty habit of acting like a mirror, showing us to ourselves. Instead of judging ourselves because we reacted in a particular way, we may want to ask questions such as: “What are the significance to me?”  “How did I cope in the past or what experience do I have” , “What does this say about me.”

The following graphic may help to illustrate what we have been saying:

Play around with other words and situations on the two axis; for instance you may find that a financial disaster is more significant to you than a car breaking down, or a distant family member falling ill. To somebody else family is everything and they will hit panic stations the minute their family, even extended family, is affected.  This will help you to understand the situation better. In the example above of my mother-in-law we did not understand the situation until we put “Loss of car” against “Personal significance”

An analogy in the physical world will probably be that the same Richter Scale reading of seismic activity on a remote island in the Pacific may have far less impact than if it was San Francisco.  It all depends on how you look at it – loss of lives, economic impact or ecological impact. Of course, the personal impact cannot be generalised, it is unique to you.

Scales that measure your level of resilience often look at your disposition such as your level of optimism or your support structures to get an idea of your resilience rather than to establish how big the disaster is or what significance it has for you. Such scales are very valuable from a self-help or educational perspectives, it alerts us areas that may need improvement such as developing a proper support structure to deal with disasters. A good place to start is www.authentichappiness.com– the official website for Positive Psychology and the work of Martin Seligman et al. There are also a number of stress resilience scales on the web that will give valuable insights.

There are some adversities that we will have difficulty coping with no matter how high our resilience is and it is extremely important that we seek professional help in such instances. This series of posts are no substitute for professional help, the aim of these posts is to increase your levels of emotional intelligence, your self-awareness and self management and your ability to understand other people as they deal with the adversities in their lifes. The aim is to improve your understanding and to enhance your coping mechanisms not too treat you. Only a qualified health professional can do that and if you feel unsure whether to consult one or not rather err on the side of caution and visit one as soon as possible.